For all the elegance of a well-planned wedding, the process often begins with something deceptively simple: the invitation.
Yet many modern couples find themselves caught between tradition and modernity, wondering exactly what to write, when to send it, and who should be on the list.
Allow me to provide a little clarity.
When should you send wedding invitations in the UK?
The modern convention for UK weddings is to send invitations around 3 to 6 months before the wedding day.
For summer weddings, or dates near bank holidays, closer to 6 months or more is wise — diaries fill up quickly.
If you’re having a destination wedding or inviting guests from abroad, send a Save the Date 9–12 months in advance, with the formal invitation to follow at the usual time.
What should you include on a wedding invitation?
Modern etiquette leans towards clarity and warmth, rather than elaborate phrasing. A well-composed invitation should include:
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The names of the couple (both names — it’s your day)
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The date and time of the ceremony
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The venue(s) — with full addresses
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The RSVP details — with a deadline
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Dress code — if applicable
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Additional details — such as transport, accommodation, or gift preferences (often directed to a wedding website rather than printed)
Whether you choose classic wording or something more playful depends on the tone of your day — but do ensure key details are easy to find.
Who should you invite to the ceremony, wedding breakfast, and the evening reception?
This is often where modern couples wrestle most with etiquette — balancing family expectations with personal wishes.
Here is the current thinking:
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Ceremony and Wedding Breakfast: Invite those closest to you — family, dearest friends, people you genuinely wish to witness your vows.
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Evening Guests: There is no shame in having an evening-only list. This is a gracious way to include wider circles — colleagues, acquaintances, extended family — without the pressure of expanding the day beyond what feels right.
If inviting someone only to the evening, make this clear in the invitation — with warmth, never apology.
If there is room, you can consider inviting people to the ceromony, and then the evening reception, with the understanding that they will not be at the wedding breakfast, but that does mean you have to tread carefully in how you word it.
How should you word your invitations?
In modern etiquette, your wording can reflect your personalities and the style of your day. A few examples:
Formal:
“Mr. & Mrs. John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter…”
Modern Classic:
“Together with their families, Anna and James invite you to join them in celebrating their marriage…”
Contemporary:
“Anna & James are getting married — and you’re invited to the party of the year!”
Choose what feels most you and fits in with your overall vision — and let it set the tone for the celebration to come.
A final note
Above all, invitations should feel welcoming and clear. A little thought in the wording and timing can set expectations beautifully — and avoid any confusion later on.
Etiquette evolves, but good manners — and good communication — remain timeless.