The first dance — for some couples, it’s a romantic highlight of the day. For others, it’s a moment they quietly dread.
But with a little preparation, your first dance can be one of the most memorable, exciting, and personal moments of your wedding day, rather than an awkward shuffle in front of all your expectant guests and every camera in the room.
Let’s explore how you can make it truly wonderful.
What do you do for a first dance?
Traditionally, the first dance marks the opening of the evening celebrations. It’s the couple’s first dance together as newlyweds — a moment to step into the spotlight and signal that it’s time for guests to relax, mingle, and celebrate.
The tradition comes from old european courts, where the couple would dance together as part of the formalities, inviting the other guests to join them.
How formal or relaxed this moment is, however, is entirely up to you. From fully choreographed routines to a simple slow dance, the key is to choose something that feels natural for you.
How to make your first dance less awkward
What is the most common source of awkwardness in a first dance?
Quite simply, lack of preparation.
If you’ve never danced together before — or worse, if you’ve never discussed what you’ll do ont he dance floor — it can feel super uncomfortable when the music starts. Especially when there are 100 people watching you who are hoping that you have something planned.
To avoid this there are a few simple things that will help.
-
Choose a song you both enjoy — not one picked solely for lyrics or trends. Make it something that speaks to your relationship and your connection to each other. Every time you hear this song you will think about this moment, so make it a good memory.
-
Decide what kind of dance you want — fully choreographed, semi-structured, or simply a gentle sway. Any of these is good, but you need to decide together in advance.
-
Practice together — even in the living room! The more familiar it feels, the more relaxed you’ll be on the day. And dancing together is fun.
What’s the first thing to do before dancing?
Before stepping onto the dance floor, take a breath — and a glance at one another.
It’s easy to get swept up in nerves, but remember: this is a moment for you, not for performance. Have a small signal between you — a squeeze of the hand, a shared smile — and walk on together with confidence.
One thing to remember is to make sure that your photographer and videographer are in place, and that they know the plan. Like many ther parts of your day, you only get to do this once.
How long should a first dance be?
A good first dance should be no more that around 3 minutes however a comfortable timeframe is 90 seconds to 2 minutes, especially if you are choreographing a routine.
Longer than that, even a choreographed routine can begin to feel stretched.
This will give you plenty of time to get good photos and videos, and if your track is longer than this, you ask your host to invite your guests to join you on the dancefloor.
Choosing the right song
There’s no “correct” choice — the right song is one that means something to you both.
Popular first dance songs often work because they match the couple’s energy, not just because they top a list.
Ask yourselves:
-
Does the tempo suit how we want to dance?
-
Do the lyrics reflect something we value?
-
Is this a song we’ll enjoy hearing again in years to come?
If in doubt, test a few in private — and don’t hesitate to seek guidance from a dance instructor or music professional.
The value of lessons
For couples wanting extra confidence, a few lessons can be invaluable — not to create a showpiece, but simply to move together with ease.
Even one or two sessions can transform the experience from nerve-wracking to genuinely enjoyable — and the practice becomes a delightful part of the lead-up to the big day.
Ultimately, the first dance is not about perfection — it’s about presence. Whether you choose a sweeping waltz or a simple sway, let it be a moment that feels authentic to you both.
Final steps…
Whatever you do for your first dance, make sure that it is authentically you. If you are choreographine a routine, or even just some random funky moves, like a sweeping kis or a turn, let your photographer and videographer know about them in advance and when they are going to happen, so that they can be ready for them when they happen.
Get this right, and your first dance will be the talk of the town for years to come.